Self-Check

Well, on Friday I walked into the hair dresser ready to make a change. I cut off about 12 inches of my hair, 10 of which I was able to donate to Locks of Love. I am so happy that I decided to do this. I am still getting used to having short hair as I have not had this short of hair since, umm, age 5? oh my!

This was just the beginning of a tough but wonderful weekend. My sister flew in from Colorado Saturday morning to make a trip up to Northern California to visit three ailing older family members as well as to visit a good friend. I was excited for this trip because we would be seeing family but not excited as it is an extremely tough situation. Our first stop and the one I am going to write about was a visit to my cousin's grandmother, Dorothy, who has been as much apart of the family as my blood grandparents. She unfortunately has a serious form of breast cancer and at the age of 89, it, unfortunately, does not look good. I was nervous and uncertain about how this visit would be but as soon as I walked into the room, my heart was calmed. Her presence is tough to see and her pain is obvious, but her eyes still glittered. She was so happy to see my sister and me. She constantly thanked us for making the trip and it was even better because it was a surprise to her that we were coming. We visited with her for about an hour and it was an hour filled with memories and laughs. My cousin, Heather had brought a few old family albums. She loved looking at the pictures and seeing how many wonderful experiences she had.

On our long drive home, I had more time to think about our short visits and wonder how it could relate to my possible future career. I was having trouble thinking of something and didn't want to force ideas that weren't there. So I began to think about the areas that I want to focus on in my dream career. I know that I want to help athletes who have suffered a major injury, teach them ways to cope, be a shoulder to cry on, etc. I remembered when I looked in Grandma Dorothy's eyes, I still saw the glitter, the fight to live and see another day and the light bulb went off.

I know that sport's injuries (most) are not life and death, but to an athlete they can feel that way. I want to teach athletes how to maintain that glitter without the sport they love. My goal is to help athletes succeed mentally at their sport, but even more important, teaching them how to succeed mentally without their sport. So many athletes depend completely on their sport for self-confidence (unknowingly) and for that matter, most people rely completely on one or two things for confidence. My glitter left for awhile during my injuries and along with it went my self-confidence. I have since then learned and found confidence solely in who I am and want to be. It is a constant work in progress, I am not saying I am there yet, but its coming.

My 22-year-old advice would be to have a self-check to see what you would do if your sport or passion was gone, would you be able to be completely confident? I understand there is a grief and transition period that comes along with it, but could you move to your back-up plan, to your friends and family for help, to a different career? This is a question that I constantly challenge myself with and I feel that it keeps me on my toes. It does not only relate to athletes or sports. It makes me feel that I am ready for whatever life throws at me next.